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Monday, January 07, 2008

Missing in Action

Jesus, has it really been 5 days?? Shameful. Let's see.....list of excuses......

1. laziness, pure and simple.
2. brain fried from researching & ordering too many fucking organic farming books.
3. helping daughter with sending out eleventy million college applications.
4. my sudden urge to declutter my entire house - the garbage man is plotting to kill me.
5. this damn cloudy, cloudy weather, ugh.
6. preparing mentally for the clogging trip we are leaving for (in South Carolina) in two weeks and trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to fit this in my life.
7. spending my entire Saturday sitting on a set of bleachers (my ass still hurts) watching my 10 year old play basketball.
8. spending my entire Sunday on the phone working my 2nd job - why is there never enough money?
9. dreaming of spring and drooling over all the seed catalogs that are pouring into my mailbox.
10. did I mention laziness? Yeah, that one really sums it up, I think.

I took my girls to see the movie Juno last night. Yes, there were parts of it that were probably a little mature for my 10 year old, but we are pretty damn open in this house about the subject of sex, so she wasn't shocked and the general message of the movie was good. Kind of a 'scared straight' type of approach, can you dig? Really a great movie in my opinion. We laughed, we cried and we talked about it all the way home, what could be wrong with that right?

My oldest daughter turned 18 on the 3rd. That event didn't do much for my overall depression at the moment. How the hell did I wake up one day and become old enough to be the mother of an 18 year old kid anyway? Didn't I just turn 18 myself last year? Seriously.

It's about this time of year when I become manic. The fact that it is January and we are on the downhill slide of winter and it has been unseasonably warm here (35! Heat-wave) and the snow is melting and we can actually go outside without bundling up like the abomidable (excuse the spelling) snowman - this all makes me think SPRING and I start taking inventory of my seeds, dreaming of firing up the greenhouse, planning what I'm going to grow this year, having insane thoughts of having a plant sale?! Don't ask about that last one, I'm hoping that thought just goes away. Do you ever think of something and immediately know it is a bad idea that will cause a lot of stress and you just can't help yourself from doing it anyway? I'm my own worst enemy, that's for sure and this plant sale is a really bad idea, but that doesn't stop it from coming back into my head over and over again.

Plus, today I made my flight arrangements for my trip to Florida in April. Two friends from high school and I are celebrating our turning 40 by taking off to Florida for 5 days. Of course, because life is never complicated enough, our dates in Florida just happen to fall directly ahead of me going to Grand Marais to learn how to build my cabin. Which means I will be gone from home for 10 days straight. I keep telling myself not to feel one ounce of guilt, this is my present to me in my 40th year of life, I've earned it, they will survive just fine w/o me and probably better.........can you tell I'm psyching myself out? We won't even mention the fact that the greenhouses will be full and if, IF there were to be a plant sale, it would have to happen 3 weeks after I return..........anyway, moving on, I can't think about this anymore or my head might explode.

One day at a time, right? Well, on top of all this, I'm definitely going to try to post more frequently even if it's just a few short words. Something is better than nothing b/c I hate it when I go to blogs and they haven't posted for a few days - BORING! I don't want to be that person - so, from now on, more posting.

Now, I'm heading over to all of your blogs that I have been neglecting and am coming to say 'hi'!


Mrs. G. said...

Hi back at you. We spent a good portion of our Christmas vacation filling out applications for five colleges and all the financial aid forms. I can't believe how much time and energy we all put into the process. Thank God they are all in the mail.

Your trip to Florida sounds wonderful. The plant sale? Not so much.

Cherry said...

I hear ya on all of the seed catalogs. My usual reading in bed of food magazines and fiction have turned into dreaming of what odd and tasty varieties we could grow if we had any land. Sigh.

But we still get all of those seed catalogs as Eric will start setting seed for plants he will hopefully sell to clients in the next year or two. Except.... the makeshift greenhouse blew down in the storm we had over the weekend, so seed trays have started poppping up around the house (not exactly what I was thinking, but if he needs to start the artichokes now without a greenhouse, then I guess it's what needs to be done)

I do hope you don't feel pressure to post, because then it becomes a chore and we wouldn't want you to get all discouraged and quit! I really enjoy hearing about the farm and how you juggle it in this day and age plus having a family. Do what you can, and it sounds like you are already doing a ton!

Amy said...

My M.O. has always been having ideas that I know will cause me a lot of stress and doing them anyway. I wouldn't know how to operate otherwise.

Amy said...

Did somebody say "plant sale"?

I'm getting goosebumps.

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

We went to see Juno as well. I really liked it, and I don't know if my daughter blushed with the condom on the banana part, or anything else. I'm with you on being as open as you can about sex.

My daughter is only 12, but I'm older than you, and wow, how did I get this old? Right there with you on that.

I have no desire to have a plant sale OR go to Florida, though, so I guess we're not twins. It's ok. ;)

I'm having a bit of a writers block on my blog these last few days, so we'll see how long it takes me to come up with something remotely interesting.

Erikka said...

Hey Angie.

Sounds like you are BUSY! But somehow, life is going to make all those wonderful things happen for you...no matter how crazy you get through it all. Good luck!

I'm adding Juno to my list of must-see movies. Check! Also good, but very gorey - Sweeney Todd. Did you know this original operatte was based on a true story!?!

Thanks for the info on the book sales/conference gigs. I actually do attend the NOFA conference in western MA on occasion, but they can get so expensive and also time consuming. I try to also check out smaller venues for learning in the area too.