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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

A Little Wisconsin Humor.....

This was sent to me by my long-time friend from Illinois. She thinks she's funny when she's slamming Cheeseheads, but guess where she comes to vacation?? That's why we forgive her for being a Fibby - (*ucking Illinois Bastards) - as we affectionately call them 'round these parts.

If I'm honest? The entire list is completely true.......sad, but true.

Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin:

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 38 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Park Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's 'too pricey,' you might live in Wisconsin .

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Wisconsin .

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Wisconsin .

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Wisconsin .

If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Head Cheese, you might live in Wisconsin

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have either a pet or a child named 'Brett,' you might live in Wisconsin.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha , Menomonie & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Wisconsin.

If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, 'From the land of sky-blue waters,'....you might live in Wisconsin.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

2 'Vacation' means going up north past Hwy 8 for the weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

5. You often switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again.

6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday.

7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings and funerals.)

9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

15. You refer to the Packers as 'we.'

16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.

19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.

20. You know how to polka.

21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

23. Down South to you means Illinois.

24. A brat is something you eat.

25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

26. You go out to a fish fry every Friday.

27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

29. You find minus twenty degrees 'a little chilly.'

30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Wisconsin friends. (OR POST THEM ON YOUR BLOG!)



We're Cheeseheads and we're proud.

7 comments:

farm mom said...

LOL! Those are great, and with the exception of the cheese head and packer references, completely relatable to this Michigander!! :)

Amy said...

Apparently, most of them work in Minnesota, too!

Erikka said...

I was thrown off by the new blog look. Like that you're trying new things! A new year, a new mast head! Did you just add a photo to the banner or do you know html code enough to build your own?

hahaha! i love these state things. there's one for nh too.

Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

Vacation means going up north to Pittsburg for the weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people that have hit deer more than once.

You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

You use a down comforter in the summer.

You drive at 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events or church.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You think of the major food groups as venison, cider, fish, and berries.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.

There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Cricenti's Market at any given time.

Your Grammie's birthday party was in the town hall and the whole town showed up.

You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over their snowsuit.

Driving is better in winter because all the potholes are filled with snow.

You know at least one person who has hit a moose.

You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction. (and maybe a 5th -- mud!)

(Or -- tourist, foliage, skiing and mud)

It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for milk even when you're in a hurry because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.

Your uncle mows the town common.

You buy your Christmas presents at the feed and grain store.

You've pulled over to let a flock of wild turkeys (or pheasants) cross the road.

You define summer as three months of bad sledding.

Snow tires come standard on all your cars and trucks.

You can't go barefoot until the snow is gone from the top of Mt. Moosilauke.

You refer to the Patriots as "we".

You can identify a Massachusetts accent.

You keep your potatoes and onions "down cella", and your canned goods on shelves in the "cella-way".

You know what cow-tipping is.

"Down South" to you means Boston.

You consider Manchester exotic.

You can actually pronounce "Kancamagus" and know what it is.

You know what a bubbler is.

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.

You can recognize someone from Massachusetts from their driving.

You drink soda and refer to your dad or grandpa as "Pop".

You ride your ski-doo to meet your friends at a restaurant for dinner, and that's how they get there too!

You can actually pronounce and spell "Winnipesauke".

You know where Contoocook is, and how to pronounce it.

You can visit Berlin, New London, Bethlehem, Lisbon, Lebanon and Dublin all in one afternoon.

You only know three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

You're proud of the only NH President, though he's not remembered for much.

You've visited the homestead of Franklin Pierce, because he's the only President from New Hampshire.

You've seen mosquitoes with landing lights.

The local paper covers major headlines on one page, but requires four pages for local sports.

At least twice a year, your kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.

You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.

You find 0 degrees a little chilly.

Angie said...

Haha, Erikka - that is great. Our states have a lot of similarities! HTML code?? Don't I wish. No, I cheat and use the simple blogger tools. Not sure if I like this new look yet, just checking it out. I was feeling a little bored with the look of things. If I could get any good colors to choose from I'd change those too, but the color options are not great.

Have a great day.

Cherry said...

Someday... someday I will make it to Wisconsin.

Eric really wants me to go to a Badgers game someday. I'm afraid he's going to be sad that its just not the same when you aren't in the student section.

Me, I want to try Cheese Curds!

Miss Emish said...

Came here via Finslippy. And worldclass parenting. I grew up in Madison, which as I'm as you know is a world unto itself. Still, the shoe fits. We just have our own list like "you're from madison if your homecoming king and queen were two girls."
I can't phrase it wittily but there should be something like "you have 5 kinds of cheese in your fridge, but only salt and pepper on your shelf"

--Emily

Angie said...

Cheese Curds! They are the best. Otherwise known as 'squeaky cheese'. If you don't make it here soon, I'll have to FedEx you some.

Miss Emish - I've actually heard that one about the king & queen being girls commment. I LOVE Madison - hoping my daughter ends up there for college. I see you're from Minneapolis! We're neighbors.