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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

The Big 39!

Tomorrow I will turn 39. 39. Should this feel like a relief that it isn't 40? Should it feel scary that I only have one more year of 30's? Actually, it doesn't feel like either. It feels like any other day. Laundry to be done, lists to accomplish, kids to shuttle, dog to feed.......no big plans other than dinner out with some friends (my friend, Julie has the exact same birthday, year, and 1/2 hour difference in time).

The Spring 'rush' is on. The greenhouse is fired up, the soil is ordered, the seeds are ready and I am starting to feel the panic of the season starting. I'm having a hard time getting into the 'fun' part of the rush - and right now it just seems like there is not enough time! Our community is starting a farmer's market and is having a meeting on Friday. For some reason, I suggested this and got the ball rolling and now I'm thinking, "what the hell was I thinking?" I must have been in a 'manic' stage when that idea popped in my already too crowded head. It will be great for the community and something I have been wanting to do, but now I'm wondering where the extra time and energy is going to come from.

There is a young man that has approached me with the desire to work on our little farm this year. He says he doesn't care if I can't pay him much (??) and just wants the experience and be able to have food from the fields. This is a great opportunity for me and has actually made me excited to have some help. He plans on starting his own small farm in the next couple of years and therefore, wants to work on one to see what it's like. Is my farm going to teach him that? I can't imagine anyone learning anything from me, but when I say that, my husband gives me the 'look' and rolls his eyes. He always says I underestimate my knowledge. But I feel like if I can do it, anyone can - I'm not doing anything that hard. Giving myself credit is definitely not one of my strong points.

Besides farming and birthdays, everything else is okay. My daughter is living everyday tentatively. We go on the 12th of March to see if they will take her away for 28 days of in-patient treatment for her eating disorder. This keeps me awake at night. The thought of her having to go away makes my heart hurt. Even though I know it's the best thing for what she is going through - this is something I just haven't come to terms with. Maybe I'm in denial as much as she is, who knows.

If anything, this will teach me to live every day knowing I can't control it all. Hope all is well with you and your families. And I will end with a question. What excites you all about Spring coming? I know some of you (Cece) already live where it is perpetual spring/summer (I'm jealous), but still, isn't there something about the 'freshness' of spring? Maybe that's just where we have to dig out from under 24 inches of snow, huh?

3 comments:

Cece said...

Hey there! Good to see/hear from you!

The community market sounds fun, but I'm like you I get bright ideas & then think Oh shit. What did I get myself into! lol Oh well. You'll do fine, b/c you have to, right?

I can't imagine what you're going through w/your daughter. I'm sorry. I'm sure its hard. Stay strong. {{hugs}}

Spring is almost here & I'm giddy! We're having 90 degree weather this weekend!

I look forward to Spring b/c the days are longer. My kids get to go outside & play, getting them away from the TV! We go camping too.

Next week we're going to Mexico, with friends, for vacation & then to Vegas! This is the perfect time for a get away...WITHOUT kids!

Cece said...

Hey there! Good to see/hear from you!

The community market sounds fun, but I'm like you I get bright ideas & then think Oh shit. What did I get myself into! lol Oh well. You'll do fine, b/c you have to, right?

I can't imagine what you're going through w/your daughter. I'm sorry. I'm sure its hard. Stay strong. {{hugs}}

Spring is almost here & I'm giddy! We're having 90 degree weather this weekend!

I look forward to Spring b/c the days are longer. My kids get to go outside & play, getting them away from the TV! We go camping too.

Next week we're going to Mexico, with friends, for vacation & then to Vegas! This is the perfect time for a get away...WITHOUT kids!

Angie said...

Hi Cece - I'm sooooo jealous of the Mexico trip! What fun.

Thanks so much for the kind words about my daughter - things are pretty rough right now, but trying to stay strong. Of course, if they take her into in-patient treatment on Monday - that will be a different story! God, help me.

90 degrees this weekend!! Wow. We are still buried in 2 feet of snow, but we are supposed to hit a high of 50 this weekend - I know you are jealous :)

I'm headin' over to read about what you've been up to - thanks for reading.

Angie