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Saturday, November 11, 2006

Whew....this was really cutting it close!

Damn, almost forgot to post! That would have been tragic. This post will be in the form of a letter to the woman who I got stuck behind today in traffic.

Dear Mrs. No Rearview Mirror:

Although you have my sympathy for whatever happened in your life to cause your rearview mirror to fall off, that doesn't mean that just because you can no longer see anyone behind you, that there really ISN'T anyone behind you.

Never mind that I am late for a Memorial Service and am trying not to make a huge scene by sneaking into the back of the church while my family is waiting for me, but is it necessary to go 7 miles an hour UNDER the speed limit?

Also, if you are not sure where you are going? It works really well to stop and ask directions, but oh, I see you have a map - how about pulling OVER and reading the map instead of while you are driving?

Yes, we all know how annoying kids can be in the car, especially when you are obviously lost and have no mirror to see what the hell they are doing back there, but for God's sake couldn't you again pull OVER while you are trying to slap the shit out of them instead of veering off the road and causing a head-on crash?

It's obvious you would like to make a right turn as your turn signal seems to go on at every road or driveway that goes to the right, but is it necessary to slow down to 15 miles per hour and read every single street sign when there is a line of 12 cars behind you - oh, right, the rearview mirror thing - my bad.

Finally, when I can take it no longer and when you make yet another attempt at turning right and then decide "oh, no, that's not the right I want" so you swerve back into traffic and almost take me out - I give you a little toot of the horn just to bring you back into our universe and maybe make you realize that there are other human beings on the road - you give me the universal sign of love with your middle finger - how wonderful.

Hopefully you eventually found your destination to the right, I can only hope you were searching for a NAPA Auto Parts store to replace your fucking rearview mirror.

Have a great day.

1 comment:

William said...

So funny. That about sums up half of my commutes to work!