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Sunday, November 12, 2006

Needing light at the end of the tunnel....

Ughhh. One of these days I'm going to post something that is so disgustingly happy and perfect you will all want to vomit.......just not today.

Another rough day at our house. Teenage problems to deal with. Nothing serious, just trying to communicate a few things we have noticed that we aren't thrilled about. Small personality issues that seem to be getting out of control and we are trying to assert some control, which was of course, met with attitude, disagreement, victimization, tears....etc. Isn't it our job as parents if we see something that concerns us that we bring it up? Isn't it our job to try and steer our kids in the direction of being actual decent human beings? Why is it when we try to do this, they immediately feel attacked, blamed and degraded? We didn't even raise our voices, just made some observations that we weren't pleased with, asked if we could work together on it - and total melt down.

The overwhelming feeling of just being exhausted is about all I can muster right now. When I think back, I used to think when the kids were babies were the hardest times ever - jesus - the baby years seem so simple now - I would give anything to be back there and I have good kids!! At least I'm not dealing with drinking, drugs, sex, speeding tickets, bad grades - none of that shit - just plain old parenting and trying to keep them on the right track - christ, if I had to deal with any of those problems I can't imagine what the hell I would do.

I love these three girls more than anything but raising them is turning out to be even harder than I imagined. At least when they were babies, all you had to do was feed them, change a poopie diaper and hold them for hours at a time. Now your lucky if you even see them for more than 20 minutes a day while you are trying to get food into them and holding them is completely out of the question.

You know all those years where we just wanted them to grow up a little and be a little more independent so we weren't so tied down? Watch what you wish for.....it gets here way too fast.


JGS said...

Wow...that's got to be so hard. With my Okapis turning 4 next month, I can only imagine what it must be like, but I think it would be really hard in a completely different way. I already feel once I get good at a certain age, they move on to the next one where I have to learn new skills all over again. Dealing with them as teenagers seems overwhelming.

You're doing the right thing, though. You're doing what's best for them for the rest of their life -while they are only able to think about this very second (and maybe tomorrow). You're making a difference for them in the long-term and that is what our job is, what matters most. Good for you for having the courage to do so.

Beth said...

The teenage years are the WORST! And I'm not saying that because I'm a mom. I have two younger sisters and I remember THEIR teenage years like it was yesterday. And I'd like to forget yesterday ever happened!

They feel attacked and blamed because they feel guilty or ashamed and they know Mom and Dad are right. I don't know how parents these days do it. Like I said a couple posts ago...I admire the shit out of you. Raising kids is the hardest thing in the world in my humble opinion.


Cece said...

Oh Angie, you just scared the crap out of me. Seriously. My Drama Queen is 8 but can toss some attitude and crap like she's 16. It took all the strength I had yesterday not to shake her silly. *sigh* Why don't kids just listen to us? Why are they allowed their own mind at birth?