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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Tired Mom

All of you mothers out there, we all know we love our kids and everything, but do you ever get exhausted by the responsibility and the bullshit?

Today is one of those days. Today, I don't want to be the one who has to answer the umpteen questions about shit I have no idea about, or listen to the latest accomplishment on the piano or play a game of Battleship or figure out how to delete a song off your iPod or make you a dental appointment for that tooth that is bothering you or remember to send a check to school for your lunch account and your yearbook.

Today, I don't want to pick up your crap that you leave strung from one end of this house to the other until I feel like it is all going to swallow me up or find the dishes in your bedroom that are growing science experiments or remind you to do your chores and feed the dog or wash your ever-growing pile of laundry that.just.doesn't.fucking.quit.

Today, I want to crawl into bed with a book or watch a movie or try to get a handle on my word-count for NaNoWriMo (what the hell was I thinking??) and not have to worry about whether any of you receive any nourishment, answer your never ending phone calls (my God, does everyone else's phone ring off the hook like this??) or generally have anything to do with taking care of another human being.......for at least 24 hours. Tomorrow I will love you again, want to be your mother again, won't want to kill you for all your 'kid-like' things that you do......tomorrow hopefully my PMS will subside and I will be back to the mom that you all know, love and depend on so heavily.

Being a woman, mother, wife, friend, daughter, etc., can be so damn draining.

There, I feel so much better after that little rant, anyone else ever get this way?


YankeeAmanda said...

I've only been doing this mommy thing for a little over a year, but already, AMEN!

Cece said...

OMG I cannot believe you just wrote what I was thinking two days ago! Ha! Seriously I was like AAARRRGGGG!!!! *breathe*

Yeah, I've had those days. Hopefully yours will be better tomorrow. *hugs*

Beth said...

I am not a mother and I don't know if I ever will be one, but your post is one of the MANY reasons I don't think I want to be one. I just couldn't do it.

And I respect the hell out of you and all the other mothers out there that do it...EVERY DAY.

**Hugs** Take a day to yourself!!!! Is that easier said than done or what?

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moi said...

mm. i hate comment spam. seriously.

anyway. i just wanted to tell you that you are not alone in your everybody-leave-me-the-hell-alone rant. i so appreciate your candor. i am a single mother, so its slightly different (i don't have a grown baby/husband to take care of like you), but i think we all have felt the same thing at some point (even if theres some of us who don't want to admit we're not perfect all the time - you know who you are... yes, you. and i see you over there too.).

it seems like by thursday evening i start getting to the point where i just want to drop him off with random neighbors for a few hours so i can DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING, PLEASE LET ME SLEEP, THINK, OR EVEN PEE ALONE (i work part time - mostly at home, go to school full time, and am raising a wonderfully rewarding and almost equally infuriating bundle of 2-yr old cute terror). I have a cycle of recovery that seems to work even if i don't get a break by the end of the week, but i do feel like its all piling up back there somewhere and that one of these days im gonna pay my parents all the money in the bank just to take him for the weekend - and wash their cars or something (i said i worked PT). i want a bubble bath, damnit. and to dance around in my underwear or cuss out a tv show without having to worry about my son repeating either event later when he meets my boss or my pastor.

post in your comment section. looks like i should have just gone and posted on my own blog. :)

um, anyway. you're not alone! :D

glad you're feeling better.