Thanksgiving

For most of my life we have spent our holidays with my mom's side of the family. She comes from a large family and I'm very close with my grandmother, so it just make sense. My dad's parents died when he was young and he was raised by an uptight Aunt, so not much fun on holidays.

Fun, however, might be pushing it when describing our holidays. You see, my mother's side of the family might be big which could potentially mean fun, but mostly it means dysfunction. All of her siblings are great, friendly, funny people, easy to be around, relaxed, none of that stuffy-have-to-mind-your-manners types. But something about putting all the siblings and spouses in a room all together and it starts to resemble a late night episode of Jerry Springer.

No, their lives were not easy growing up. They were poor, there were a few different fathers involved, okay 4 to be exact for 6 kids, my grandma was always working 2 or 3 jobs due to the fact that she married 4 losers, and the kids were pretty much on their own with my mom being the oldest and trying to herd the other six. As you can imagine, this lends itself to some anger, resentment and general bad feelings.

Your first clue when you walk in the room and are trying to gauge the environment is how thick the tension is. If you get there early, it's not too bad, but if you make the mistake of coming later, bring a knife - you'll need it to get through the room. I always try to arrive early, go straight to the kitchen with grandma and busy myself doing something useful - like buttering rolls or mashing potatoes. The key is to stay busy and don't make the mistake of getting in the middle of any conversation. Small talk is fine, but when the decibel level starts to rise? Maybe it's time to walk the dog!

There are many old wounds that have never been healed and when they all get in the room at the same time, the shit usually starts flying. It starts with snarky remarks and usually ends with someone leaving early.

You might ask yourself, 'why would you even go?' That is a good question, one that I have aksed myself many times over the years, but when it's all you've got - there aren't many options. But then about 9 years ago, my world changed and other options opened to me! The key is, you move 7+ hours away from your family and have some great excuses as to why that drive just isn't going to work for you this year.

As time went on, I got really smart and picked the relatives I enjoyed and invited them to MY house. Like I said, one on one they are great - just not together.

So in honor of this tradition I have started, I am looking forward to my grandmother and my uncle coming to our house for Thanksgiving this year. We all three love to cook, we love to play games, we all get along with no hang-ups and enjoy being together. It's the perfect solution.

How are your holidays? Are you one of the lucky people that have a normal family that just likes to have a good time or can you relate to my 'divide and conquer' strategy?

Either way, I'm hoping you all have a wonderful holiday full of lots of food, drink and fun.