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Thursday, February 07, 2008

Death by Taxes

Finally, the taxes are finished. It took me 3 freakin' days, ok, some of that was because I would start, get bored or frustrated, see something shiny and get distracted. Last night at 11:30, I clicked that 'send' button and off they went.

Luckily or unluckily, depending on how you look at it, we own a farm. Farms are money suckers, in case you didn't know. You want to be depressed about your passion in life? Put numbers to it. My bottom line is ugly. Yes, it helps us to pay less taxes, but is also makes me think, "Hmmmm. this is a lot of work, is this all I made?" Labor of love, that is for sure.

In other news, my 18 year old is driving me insane. God, I love that girl, but she makes me nuts. All you moms out there of girls this age - do you feel me? She is such a great kid, but sometimes I'm amazed at how self-absorbed she is. Truly, she acts like the world is circling her head and her head only. I know, it's the age and when I think back to myself at that age? Pretty much the same. Most of the time, I wasn't aware anyone else actually existed outside myself and my circle of friends. Paybacks are hell.

We got into a small altercation Tuesday night and haven't had much to say to each other since then. She's hardly home so it's not difficult to avoid each other. But it's funny, she knows when I'm upset/disappointed/pissed off, at first she acts like she could care less, but slowly, she'll start doing little things to make up. All of a sudden, she starts helping out around the house, or remembers to leave me a check for the $$ she's owed us for 3 months, she starts actually speaking to her sisters like they are human beings, she calls and checks in more often - little things that let us know that she is sorry or at least ready to act like part of the family.

It would be helpful if we weren't so much alike. We both 'clam up' when we are mad, we both need some time to mull it over - mostly so we don't say things we can't take back. Tempers are a big thing here - so cooling off periods are a good thing.

Believe me, I understand what she's going through - she's 18, she wants to be independent, she's leaving for college soon and wants to come and go as she pleases without having to be bothered by the rest of us - I know - I've been there. My big thing is respect. Just because you are off and running, don't forget about the people who helped you get to where you are and who support you (financially and otherwise) no matter what - don't shit on those people and treat them like they are really making your life difficult because they expect things of you. That doesn't fly with me.

We'll miss her when she goes, truly our family dynamic will change unbelievably, but it might be a good thing too. She needs to get out there and spread her wings in her own world.

Who in the hell had the bright idea to bless me with 3 daughters? Who in their right mind thought this would be something I could handle? Do they not know how ill-equipped I am? Someone had waaaay more confidence in me, than me.


m~ said...

I haven't embarked on the whole tax thing as of yet.
As far as girls, I have an 11 year old. She has her moods, I just home she's nothing like me, ugh!

Madeline said...

Is it having girls or just being a passionate group of people? My sons and I (particularly the 10 yo) are very intense and that can create heat. I so think girls are more manipulative than boys and that has to be hard. Boys are just so loud and physical.

Hang in there - with the farming as well. I know that feeling.

Angie said...

Thank you so much, ever-supportive blog women.....you guys are such 'touch stones'.

Madeline - you hit the nail on the head with the 'intense' comment - and that could be seen as a positive thing.

As far as farming - like I said, definitely a labor of love, I'm like a little kid in a candy store with the seed catalogs, though - so I must still love it.

Thanks again, ladies.

Kat said...

I was such a pain in the butt from 14-19... if that payback bug bites me, I won't like it! Not one bit! Good news is that by the time I was 19, having been on my own in the real world for a while, I got humbled, chilled out, and my mom and I had a much better relationship. I see the same thing happening with my little sister now - she's 19, in her first year at college, and when she comes home she's....nice...and cleans... its cool/weird. Starting to get an idea of the woman she will become, and I think I like her!

Minnesota Matron said...

Hey, neighbor. I feel your pain. We're hardly there with an eighteen year old, but how do you truly engender respect in -- or demand it from -- another adult? Even your own child? I'm watching all these amazing moms with nearly adult -children, online and in real time, to try to start figuring that out even though we're still a year or two away. I remember hating my own family SO much as a teenager. I'm not looking forward to being on the other end of that equation. Happily, a dear friend and neighbor wiht SIX children -- the oldest four are now adults, in and out of college, married etc -- said: "You lose them for a couple of years, but they will come back to you, different but better."

Erikka said...

random question Angie - did you name the little lambies yet?

last night I was talking to my beau and we both agreed that the female species are way more sensitive than men, which can be a very good thing but also a very stress inducing thing too.

i think of when I might have children some day and what a challenge it will be to raise girls in our society...so you are fighting the good fight! your girls may be pains sometimes, but your stories over all show them as kind, thoughtful and respectful young women.

also, from some other blog, and in response to your comment about God thinking you were stronger than you thought you were to gift you with THREE girls - you were given each of them because only YOU are the one with what they need. For whatever reason, they need what you have and vice versa. Maybe in tough times, thinking of it this way might help.

Angie said...

Wow, Erikka - thank you for that - I need to hear that during these times. As with everything - I'm always trying to see the bigger picture and not get bogged down in the details of any situation.

Good advice. Thanks.

As for the names? yes - Brenna came up with Brett (for Brett Favre, of course) and Beckham, not sure if I spelled that right, but it's for David Beckham, the soccer star. Her sisters weren't thrilled with the choices, they wanted things like cottonball and mittens, but since Brenna is the one that treks her butt out there in -25 weather to take care of the little guys, her sisters didn't get much of a say!