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Friday, November 17, 2006

Deer Hunting

Well, as you all know, we live in the Northwoods of Wisconsin and the only thing that matters in the Northwoods tomorrow is deer hunting. Literally, everyone deer hunts.

This whole prior week is spent hanging your hunting clothes outside - every house you drive by has blaze orange hanging outside; buying your beer for the weekend - this mean at least 3-18 packs PER PERSON; stocking up on snacks - deer sticks, cookies, jerky, peanuts, etc.; setting up your stand - climbing various trees and getting your stand ready to hold you and all your shit; and last but not least, stopping by the bank to get your $1 bills for your time spent at the strip clubs.

You see, almost everyone in this area has a cabin 'up north', even though we already live UP NORTH - it's not quite up north enough. If you don't have a cabin, you have a relative that has a cabin or friend - whatever - either way damn near the entire male (and most of the female) population are deer hunting this weekend.

It is a tradition that has been going on for hundreds of years and after all the jokes are made, it is pretty cool.

My husband hunts - he goes up north with a bunch of guys and they have a ball. Personally, I hibernate the entire weekend, we live in the country and all you hear all weekend are gunshots - worse than downtown Minneapolis - so I stay inside, keep my dog inside, keep my kids inside and hunker down.

The season lasts clear through to next Saturday - most guys come home long enough to celebrate Thanksgiving with their families - but then leave again to finish out the weekend.

After the week is over, then we all get to see how everyone did because the other thing they do in this part of the world is they hang all their deer than they shot from the 'buck pole' that they all have in their yards. This means they hang the gutted deer from a pole to show off their manhood. Sick, I know, but true.

All the local bars and work places have what you call a 'buck board' where you sign up, pay your $5 and whoever gets the biggest buck wins all the cash. My hubby is on two or three different boards - we'll see how he does. To be honest, I'm not sure he ever actually hunts - most of their time is spent in the bars instead of the woods. Maybe that's why he never wins the buck board!

However, this is also a good weekend for the wives - it is known all over as "Widow's Weekend" and all the local stores have huge sales and all the area restaurants and bars have specials for the widows all weekend - so we all benefit, right?

Yes, the whole thing is a little archaic (sp?) but they have a good time so I say, let them go - let them piss on every fence post from here to Lake Superior, pat each other on the back and compare who has the 'biggest buck', I'm just glad it only comes around once a year, the testosterone levels are unbearable, and I'm not talking about the deer.

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