Presenting......Edward, Bella and Rosalee

These are our babies.....2 girls and a boy. Unfortunately, we lost our 2nd little boy - he was stillborn. It was sad and hard for Brenna, but it's hard to be sad for long with these little fuzzy faces.

There's nothing that says Spring like baby lambs.....other than baby chicks - which are arriving next week:)

Where the Hell has this girl gone now??

Where, you ask? I'm up to may ass in paint chips, carpet samples, light fixtures and oh yeah....baby lambs. Of course, the latter being waaaaaay more fun than the former.

I've taken literally 5 gazillion pictures of these adorable little devils - 2 girls and a boy, btw - however, the paint chips and carpet samples and light fixtures are taking up so much of my time.......okay, that was bull.....every spare moment I have is being spent watching the hours upon hours of TV/movies I have recorded on our new DVR. Why hadn't anyone told me these things existed? I feel like such a dinosaur.

You can actually pause live TV? Who the hell knew that? You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I wish I was, because since making this discovery? Much.wasted.time. As soon as I come out of this TV coma? I'll get right on posting the pictures of the baby lambs, but I'm warning you, get ready to melt like a stick of butter on a 100 degree day - nothing cuter in the entire world, not even my own babies:)

Smokey the Bear says, "Never Play with Fire"

Here are a few pictures of our house as it is being completely gutted and rebuilt. Although in these pictures the insulation hasn't been removed yet, so it got worse before it got better. It's funny, we just moved into this house 5 years ago after spending 1 year building it ourselves. Now, here we are, picking out light fixtures, ceiling fans, new paint colors, carpet, kitchen cupboards, and boy, are we having a huge case of deja vu!







On the bright side, why not change a few things that you wish you would have done differently five years ago? A new light here, a phone jack there and some new carpet in the kids' room (who in their right mind puts off-white carpet in a kids room?)

At first blush, this seems like it might be fun to change things up a bit, unless you are me. Anyone that knows me, knows that shopping is my least favorite thing to do and making decisions about design, color and style is my second least favorite. Don't get me wrong, I love design, color and style, but I'm one of those people that likes to 'chew' on things for awhile, someone who needs to 'live' in a space for awhile before I can decide if I like the room arrangement. So, when you have a contractor who tells you that you have exactly 2 days to make 3 major decisions, that's not fun for me, that is stressful and pisses me off.

But in the spirit of being a team player, I hauled my ass to the lighting store, the tile shop and IKEA all in one day and made all 3 of those damn decisions - so there!

Come to think of it, this is kind of fun:)

3 months in bullet points

There have been quite a few happenings around our place during my 3 month hiatus, most of which are depressing and one in particular was beyond tragic, so I will give a quick synopsis and get it out of the way so we can move on to happier things.

- John and I separated and were living in different residences
- my grandmother was in a car accident - broke both wrists and shattered her ankle and is still recovering in a rehabilitation center
- my dad had a mild heart attack that required me to go to Branson, Missouri and be with him (no, having to stay in Branson is not the tragic part:)
- my friend that I golf with in the summer - her son who was 18 years old and friends with my oldest daughter - hung himself. We are still reeling from this, as you can imagine.
- Kino (remember Kino? My 85 year old Japanese buddy?) also went into the hospital with chest pain and a suspected heart attack - which turned out not to be - so some good news.
- the same day Kino got out of the hospital - our house caught on fire with a chimney fire.
- we are currently displaced to a rental farm house while the gutting and rebuilding of our home is being done which will take roughly 10-12 weeks.
- John and I are now living in the same house again because he moved into the house I was renting while we were separated. We figured this would be best for the kids as they were already having a tough time with the separation and now their house burning - how much can they take at once, right?

There. Now in case some of you are afraid to even come to my blog for fear that my bad luck might jump through the screen and 'get' you, have no fear. Don't they say bad luck comes in 3's? Yeah, about that - I should be good for at least 2 years, right? So, you're safe.....I hope.

Now on a happier note, we feel we are coming through it all and we are all still standing. We are also realizing we are fairly resilient and helping the kids to understand that no matter how bleak things look, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Having Winter on its way out and Spring on her way in is very helpful. Aside from the melting snow and the mud & muck, there are some sure signs of Spring. We are currently planting seeds in the greenhouse; lettuce & onions in the hoophouse and are anxiously awaiting baby lambs and baby chicks. All signs of new life and hope.

What's that saying people are always saying when they are trying to be helpful? "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger?" I feel like the fucking Incredible Hulk.

Back in the Saddle Again

Yes, it has been 3 months since my last post (feel like I'm in BA, Bloggers Anonymous). First, I need to thank all you people who for reasons unknown to me, have stuck around and been so supportive it makes me tear up:)

My life has been hectic and like a roller-coaster to say the least, don't worry, I won't bore you with all the details quite yet, but things seem to be on the upswing and in honor of me getting back into the arena, I'm going to have a complete blog redesign. Those girls over at Trendy Mommy are going to help me out since they did such a bang-up job last time:)

Today, I plan on spending the day getting caught up with all of you great women who I have missed more than you know. I'm looking forward to staying in touch on a regular basis.

I've got my coffee, my recliner and my laptop and I'm ready to roll. Thanks again for all the kind words over the last 3 months - I appreciate it more than you know.

Home Birth

Not sure how many of you read or get the New York Times, but I caught this article a while ago and thought I would pass it on.

As someone who is a doula and has worked with many midwives, this makes perfect sense to me and I think it is the best way to have a baby. I've attended a few home births and they were some of the most memorable births I've ever seen.

There is just something about being in the comfort of your own home, something mentally that calms you down and makes your experience seem more natural, at least at the births I attended.

I'd love to hear any home birth stories, good or bad, and also any opinions on the subject. Also, how many of you saw the movie The Business of Birth? Great film about what has happened to birth in this country.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/13/garden/13birth.html?_r=1&emc=eta1

Enjoy the article and drop me a comment on what you think, will you?

She's a genius

It's 11:30 p.m., I'm exhausted and life is kicking my ass and I have to get up early and guess what I'm doing?

Downloading music to put on my ipod. When that alarm goes off at 6:00? I will not be happy with this decision.

The blog topics are a little tapped out for now. Things are at a serious low point around here and I'm digging my way back up to the surface. Instead of depressing all you great women (& men, if there are any that read this blog - if so, make yourself known!) out there, I'll be back when the clouds clear.

The entire weekend is ahead of me and I'm heading out of town by myself - plenty of time to get caught up on blogs and come up with something to talk about.

Until then, hope all is well in your blog-worlds.

Also, a reminder to all you Wisconsin/Minnesota bloggers - or anyone that wants to join in, we'd love to have you no matter where you live - get your RSVP to Minnesota Matron by the 7th so she can make reservations for our get-together! Can't wait!

Stay Tuned....

I'm taking a small bloggy break to sort out some stuff.....be back tomorrow!

Carry on, ladies.

Thanksgiving

For most of my life we have spent our holidays with my mom's side of the family. She comes from a large family and I'm very close with my grandmother, so it just make sense. My dad's parents died when he was young and he was raised by an uptight Aunt, so not much fun on holidays.

Fun, however, might be pushing it when describing our holidays. You see, my mother's side of the family might be big which could potentially mean fun, but mostly it means dysfunction. All of her siblings are great, friendly, funny people, easy to be around, relaxed, none of that stuffy-have-to-mind-your-manners types. But something about putting all the siblings and spouses in a room all together and it starts to resemble a late night episode of Jerry Springer.

No, their lives were not easy growing up. They were poor, there were a few different fathers involved, okay 4 to be exact for 6 kids, my grandma was always working 2 or 3 jobs due to the fact that she married 4 losers, and the kids were pretty much on their own with my mom being the oldest and trying to herd the other six. As you can imagine, this lends itself to some anger, resentment and general bad feelings.

Your first clue when you walk in the room and are trying to gauge the environment is how thick the tension is. If you get there early, it's not too bad, but if you make the mistake of coming later, bring a knife - you'll need it to get through the room. I always try to arrive early, go straight to the kitchen with grandma and busy myself doing something useful - like buttering rolls or mashing potatoes. The key is to stay busy and don't make the mistake of getting in the middle of any conversation. Small talk is fine, but when the decibel level starts to rise? Maybe it's time to walk the dog!

There are many old wounds that have never been healed and when they all get in the room at the same time, the shit usually starts flying. It starts with snarky remarks and usually ends with someone leaving early.

You might ask yourself, 'why would you even go?' That is a good question, one that I have aksed myself many times over the years, but when it's all you've got - there aren't many options. But then about 9 years ago, my world changed and other options opened to me! The key is, you move 7+ hours away from your family and have some great excuses as to why that drive just isn't going to work for you this year.

As time went on, I got really smart and picked the relatives I enjoyed and invited them to MY house. Like I said, one on one they are great - just not together.

So in honor of this tradition I have started, I am looking forward to my grandmother and my uncle coming to our house for Thanksgiving this year. We all three love to cook, we love to play games, we all get along with no hang-ups and enjoy being together. It's the perfect solution.

How are your holidays? Are you one of the lucky people that have a normal family that just likes to have a good time or can you relate to my 'divide and conquer' strategy?

Either way, I'm hoping you all have a wonderful holiday full of lots of food, drink and fun.

Deer Opener

This weekend, every November, is known as Deer Opener. We live in Northern Wisconsin, remember? Everyone deer hunts. Literally, every truck, van or car you pass has some form of Blaze Orange clothing or a deer carcass on top or in a trailer they are pulling behind.

This year is Maddie's first year hunting with her dad. Most kids that turn 12, take Hunter Safety over the summer so they are ready to roll for the Opener.

God bless her, it was 20-some degrees here this morning and she got up at 5:30 a.m., bundled up in 300 layers of clothing, trounced her ass out in the woods, climbed to the top of a tree and sat in a deer stand for 4 hours. That's dedication.

Unfortunately, not only did she not get a chance to shoot anything, she didn't even SEE anything that looked like a deer. That didn't stop her from heading back out there tonight to give it another go. Still nothing.

Believe it or not, she is heading BACK out there tomorrow morning. She's either dedicated or completely nuts. I'm voting for nuts.

All the crazyness aside, it's a great time for her and her dad to spend some quality time that doesn't include T.V., iPods, computers or cell phones......instead they have actual conversations. How novel.

The cool thing is when she gets home, her cell phone starts blowing up and its all her friends checking in with each other to see how their hunt went and seeing if anyone got lucky. Boys AND girls - and that's pretty cool.

Sex Talk

There have been many times when I have asked myself the question, "How in the hell did God think I could handle raising 3 daughters?" Usually, this question comes about when one of them, or all 3 of them at one time, are going through some drama that overtakes our family.

Tonights subject? "Hey, mom, did you know they make a female condom now? How does that work?" Ummm, ummm. What would any homeschooling mother do? You go to the Internet, right? We found out all kinds of things about female condoms that I had NO idea about! I've been out of the game for awhile, you know. Being married to someone for 15 years that has a vasectomy will do that to you. So, we found all kinds of answers.

Then the next question: "How does a condom work anyway? How do you put it on?" Holy shit. Okay....the banana test.....explain it like if you were putting it on a banana. That always works.

Then the final 'heart-attack' question: "What is a good age to have sex and why do people do it?" Holy shit #2. Ummm, ummmm. A good age? NEVER in high school, but college is a good time to give it a whirl, with all the standard stipulations....with the right person, with the right protection, blah, blah, blah....Why do people do it?? This is the answer I gave, right or wrong: "Well, as much as you two can't believe this, when it is the right situation? It is really great, a lot of fun....IN THE RIGHT SITUATION AND WHEN YOU ARE READY!!!!!

Okay ladies, give me your opinion, good or bad, blast me for my honesty or not, I really want to hear what you have to say about the subject and how you would deal with this if you were in my shoes!

BTW, my oldest daughter, Alyson, who is away at college and surely having sex with her boyfriend of 4 years who is at the same college, was on the cell phone and 'tempering' me b/c in her words, "mom, you can be a little TOO honest sometimes" - helping me out:)

C'mon, let's talk about sex!

An Award! Can you believe you can go for 17 days without posting and still win an AWARD?

God, this blog-world is great. Kat over at Just Kat Stuff is a dear, isn't she? While I was off in la-la land, she gave me the Kreative Blogger Award. The rules are that I'm supposed to list 6 things that make me happy and then nominate 6 more bloggers who deserve this award.

6 Things that make me happy:

1. My daughters and the relationship we have. Not always perfect, but very close-knit and loving, although sometimes, too honest. They give me details that I could usually do without:)

2. My farm. There is nothing I would rather be doing than digging in the dirt, feeding local people with good healthy food. It is my life.

3. Great friends. I have been blessed with both real-world friends and blog-world friends. How great is it to have support from strong, smart, successful women whether it's over a cup of coffee or over the internet.

4. Our new kitten. Yes, the last thing we needed around here was another animal, but Brenna begged and won and we are all enjoying her very much. You forget how playful and sweet they are.

5. Photography. I don't go anywhere without the camera. There is no better way to relax and feel happy than taking pictures. Too bad I suck at uploading them to Flickr or my blog. Someday.

6. Yellow Tail Shiraz. Wine is my friend - it makes me happy - sue me.

Now, the tough part - naming 6 other bloggers who deserve this award. Of course, there isn't one woman listed in my blogroll that doesn't deserve it - they are all creative and inspiring, but damn it, they limit us to SIX! So, here goes:

1. Madeline at Barn-Raising.....yes, I know, I always pick her, but she is my red-headed, internet, farming, photography, unschooling sister! Her pictures she took while in Europe are amazing - you need to go to her site and check them out.

2. Melanie at Bean Paste.....did you happen to see those Halloween costumes she made? Holy shit - this girl is talented. Not to mention her photography and ability to design blogs! Amazing.

3. Jodi at So Not Cool.....another photography sister, although she puts me to shame with her shots. Go check them out.

4. Marti at Standing Still......have you seen this girls pottery? She is incredibly talented and if you live in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area you can find her at the Farmers Market!

5. Denise at Mom in Madison.....a fellow homeschooling mom that comes up with the coolest projects for her boys to do. She's a mother, artist, gardener, photographer....one very cool lady.

6. Laurie at Three Dog Blog.....I'm envious because she is an author which is what I want to be when I grow up:) Go check out the pictures of her 3 adorable dogs and her new office!

Yes, I could have listed another 15 or so blogs, but then I would be breaking the rules. You know me, no breaking the rules.....yeah, right.

Thanks again, Kat, I'm not worthy!

Coming Clean

You know how it is when you have gone a long time without posting and then it almost becomes impossible to start again? Well folks, that's where I'm at.

Also, as the title says, it's about coming clean too. I've eluded to the fact there are some things going on my life and without going into detail, I'll just say it is my marriage. We are currently 'trying it apart' for awhile and seeing what happens. In 15+ years of marriage, there are bumps and we are in the middle of a pothole - if you live in Wisconsin or Minnesota, you know how big those can be! Why would I disclose this to the Internet? When I write on this blog, it is a real look into my life and trying to compose posts and pretend this is not happening seemed pointless to me and if you can't be authentic, why bother?

So, even though I'm 16 days behind, I'm jumping on the NaBloPoMo wagon to get back in the swing of things and plan on doing the same for December. High goals through the holidays, I know, but it's all about the focus on a task, you know?

Now, I'm off to attempt to catch up and comment on all of your blogs that I have been missing so much.

Slacker, I know.

Ok. I'm trying to get all the photos from the trip up on Flickr, but as the title says.............

Here are a few more from my final show. Thanks for the interest in the pics - that feels great.

My life is upside-down right now, but I'm holding my own. What else can you ask for.

I can't wait to catch up with all of you.

Looks like Minnesota Matron is going to try to rally all us Wisconsin/Minnesota bloggers together for a 'meet & greet' - that would be awesome! If you are interested, leave her a comment.

No, she was not trampled by a moose or eaten by a bear.....

So, I leave on this 5 day photography trip to Grand Marais and then fall off the face of the blogging world, wtf?

Well, we are dealing with some personal, heavy shit around these parts. When things aren't so raw? I'll share, but for now, let's talk about Photography!

Well, to sum up the trip up North in a few words? or maybe one word? WOW. The people, the scenery, the instructor.....all amazing. Five days of driving around with cool people, talking, getting to know each other and making stops at beautiful places to spend the day taking cool pictures. What else is there in life?

I'll share a few photos from my final show. That was the gig, after the 5 days, we had to come up with 10 pictures that told a story of our trip as a final show. Nerve racking, to say the least. But if you've taken 1500 pictures? You can certainly find at least 10, right? Well, you would hope so, but it still wasn't easy. I mean, you have a National Geographic photographer being the judge here, so it's a little intimidating. In the end, all the shows were great and everyone had a different perspective of the trip even though we were all together taking pictures in the same area - so that was cool.

So do you want to take a guess on what the next adventure is going to be? This same guy that taught this workshop, teaches another one in the winter, January to be exact. The workshop is 5 days of mushing your own dog sledding team up North and taking pictures. How frickin' cool does that sound? As of right now, I'm on the waiting list for this coming January - me and two other people from this trip - we want to do it together. Layne (pro-photog guy) showed us pictures from the dog sledding trip last year and it looks amazing. One of those once in a lifetime things, you know?

Well, there will be more to tell about this trip, but for now, here are a few of the shots from my final show. Hope some of you are still out there after my long absence. I can't wait to get caught up on what's going on in your lives.

Heading up North

If you were reading this blog back in April of this year, you might remember my trip to Grand Marais, Minnesota to The North House Folk School to learn how to build a cabin.

It was an incredible experience and so much so, that I'm heading back up there again. No, not to re-learn how to build a cabin because I didn't take good enough notes, but to spend 5 days hiking around the north shore and learning how to take great photographs. It shouldn't be hard even for a rube like me with little photography experience, considering the scenery, to get a few good shots.

Layne Kennedy, a professional photographer, that I probably should have heard of, but haven't, is going to be teaching the class. He is based out of Minneapolis and if you go to his site, he does take some damn beautiful pictures. He just got back from a photography trip to Ireland - how frickin' cool would that have been?

I'll be heading out on Wednesday so today is being spent making a pile of stuff I want to remember to take, like my camera. It would be just like me to pack all kinds of clothes in anticipation of the very unpredictable weather and forget the camera, so it was the first thing I stuck in the bag. Here is proof of my packing process. Unconventional, yes, but it works for me....sometimes, but usually I still manage to forget something important.














Yes, that is one big-ass camouflage bag. Otherwise, I end up bringing 15 small bags, this way, it all fits in one bag, I just can't lift it. As you can see, I have the most important thing in the pile - the beginning of my wine stash - I say beginning, because there will be at least 3 bottles added to that before I leave. I know how to travel, folks.

According to weather.com, the weather is supposed to be a little less than ideal, as in, rain, rain and more rain. The other class participants had no idea they were taking a class with the unluckiest person in the world when it comes to weather. Sorry, dudes.

Weather or not, 5 days alone in the cutest little cabin you have ever seen in your life that overlooks the north shore, doesn't sound so awful to me.

Lucky for me, I paid for this class way back in April while I was still on the high from the cabin building expedition, because of course now all hell is breaking loose financially in the world and taking a 5 day photography trip during this time is not the best thing to do with your money - or what little you have left. So, I'm trying not to feel guilty about that and look at it as a way NOT to throw away the money I already paid for the class. See how I do that? Twist that around to make sense? I'm good like that.

I'm hoping I will have lots of good photos to share and that I won't be laughed out of the class for what a beginner I am. In the meantime, I feel like I'm back in college, cramming for a test. I've been pouring over my Nikon book that came with my camera from two years ago to try and figure out all the settings and what the hell they do! This camera is cooler than I thought. It's amazing what you can find out by reading the directions, but don't you dare tell my husband I said that. I'm even going so far as to make a cheat-sheet so when someone asks me something I can just look down at the paper taped to the inside of my arm and come up with an intelligent answer.

Many embarrassing stories to follow, I'm sure.

DON'T VOTE!

*By the way, you have to pause my music below, so you can hear:)

Hard Freeze

We've had touches of light frost on Tuesday and Wednesday night, but last night was a whopper. Our first hard frost put the final sleeper hold on the garden. We covered the stuff we really wanted to hang on to, but it got zapped even through the covering, so not much we can do about that.

Lucky for us, we still have the hoophouse which includes a few more tomato plants, our beloved basil, swiss chard, carrots, kale, beets and a few volunteer pea plants that are blooming!

It's always hard to let go and remember those long hot days in August when we were dreaming of the first frost to take us out of our misery.

We scramble around trying to put anything we can in a jar or in the freezer to savor the flavors over winter and remember what a great season it was.

For our family, salsa is a staple like flour is for some families. We literally eat it by the quart full. Last week, I made 12 quarts of hot salsa. Alyson came home from college last weekend, ate 1 quart by herself and the family managed to finish off 2 more quarts, then before she went back to school, she packed up 5 quarts to take back with her. See what I mean?

So, yesterday was spent replenishing the salsa stash with 10 more quarts, pictured below. The other jars you see is the juice we strain off the salsa before we can it. We use this juice for bloody marys, it is spicy, tomatoey and wonderful, plus by draining it off, that makes our salsa nice and chunky and not soupy.














There are still 3 five gallon buckets full of tomatoes in my kitchen waiting to become something, either stewed tomatoes, more salsa or spaghetti sauce. Stewed tomatoes are the easiest, however, salsa is probably a better idea.

Why is it that just as we are taking a sigh of relief that we now have some 'down' time, our minds immediately go to next spring. What will we do differently? What varieties will we keep and which ones will be dump? How soon will we start our seeds? We will vow to keep better records, which we do every year and somehow it always gets lost in the shuffle of planting, weeding, watering and harvesting.

This way of life gets in your blood. You live your life by the first and last frost dates and by amounts of rainfall. Your spring, summer and fall days are consumed by weather forecasts and high/low temperatures. There are times when it is exhausting and you question yourself as to why the hell you continue to do this? A regular 8 hour a day job would seem like a vacation. Your to-do list never ends and priorities are decided by what you should have gotten done last week.

But for some reason, when you plant those seeds in the ground and see those little green sprouts poking through, no matter how many times you've seen it, it's amazing. To think you can feed yourself and others this way year after year, is amazing. It makes you forget about the hard work ahead for the next few months. Then, when you are harvesting buckets full and carts full of food, it makes it all worth it. Even in December when the snow is falling and it's cold as hell, you open one of those jars of tomatoes and it brings you back to summer and gets you excited for the possibilities of the year to come.

Check this out!

Okay, don't worry, this is not going to become some damn fitness blog, soon we'll be back to the regular programming of growing food, canning tomatoes, feeding pigs and occasionally homeschooling some kids, but in the meantime, there is a local guy from Madison, Wisconsin named Dustin Maher, doing some great things to help moms get a good workout.

He gives local free classes in Madison, maybe some of you have heard of him, but he also just started a blog with tips and short videos showing us moms some easy ways to get exercise in at home with minimal equipment.

Check it out and let me know what you think. Every little bit counts, right?

Here's the site:

http://mamatone.wordpress.com/

Enjoy!

Now, I am literally off to do something with 4-5 gallon buckets full of tomatoes!

I survived.

Whew. One 5K down. Here is a picture of me finishing, yes, I survived.

















Actually, the race course was quite a bit easier than my training course. The road I've trained on has two major hills that kick my ass three times a week and the race course was basically flat. Thank God.

Two of our friends did the whole enchilada, as in the Duathalon, they both did great. Another friend of mine split the duathalon with her 13 year old daughter, which I think is really cool.

All in all, the day was great, the weather could have been better, but for my first
5K, I'm pretty happy.

Turns out I got first in my age division - give a big 'hell yeah' for the old gals!! Truth be told? I was the only one in the 40-44 age division:), not hard to get first. But, in my defense, my time was actually better than the 35-39 group, so that made me feel better.

Of course, all this does? It makes me want to run a 10K or possibly train this winter and be ready for the Duathalon next year!

Alyson made the trip home from college and came to the race with her friends, very sweet considering they were up until 2 a.m. the night before:) All three of my kids even got inspired and decided they want to train to run 5K's next year.

So, for all you women out there who are considering trying something like this? I'm the LAST person you would ever think would accomplish something like this, so if you have the urge? In the words of Nike, JUST DO IT! It's fun and makes you feel great.

Thanks for all the support - you ladies are the best!!